s.f. bayarea craigslist > san francisco > women seeking men

Reply to: thisisfakedontrespond@craigslist.ong
Date: 2007-03-25 11:54PM PDT

This is in jest of course, don't hurt me!

Elin has this awesome photogenic stare that gets us to laugh every single time, and well, I was lucky enough to catch it on camera. Of course, it could possibly be blamed on the alcohol that was drunken from the ass of a dragon. Maybe, just maybe that could have this kind of affect on you. Of course under normal circumstances she looks just fine. Cute even. So if you'd like to apply I can forward your responses onto her. (^_-)

I went through some of the old pictures I had queued up and finally put them together into a new gallery. It's long over due, but it's better late than never. There are some fun photos -- like Wayland being attacked and molested! Don't forget Jared's favorite Mariachi rolls.

On the topic of hillarious fortune cookies, here is a sampling of a few we've gotten recently.

Here's a photo to go with the ad. (^_-);;

Singles Awareness Day (SAD) is a humorous holiday celebrated on February 14 (although some prefer the 13th or the 15th to get away from the commercialism associated with the 14th). It serves as an alternative to Valentine's Day for people who are single; that is, who are not involved in a romantic relationship and can therefore not participate in Valentine's Day traditions. Some observers of SAD do so out of spite for Valentine's Day, as a Hallmark holiday, or for other reasons.

On Singles Awareness Day single people gather to celebrate or to commiserate in their single status. Some want to remind romantic couples to remember those less fortunate than they are. A common greeting on this day by its adherents is "Happy SAD!"

I know this has been forwarded around a few times by now; but since I got it again, and this time the whole story, I figured I should post it.

I've always wanted to do a short video like this one, if you guys can come up with a story we should film something like it.. not based on Final Fantasy though. We should spoof Initial D, Shuto Kousoku Trial, Wangan Midnight and The Fast and the Furious; combine them together into some sort of odd hybrid. We do have enough rice mobiles around to film something! (I kid, I kid!)

If you've got forty minutes to kill, this isn't a bad way to do it.

One of the more immature things my friends and I usually indulge ourselves in at Chinese resturants is playing word games with our fortune cookies. I only recently became aware of the practice, but apparently it is quite widespread. Per Wikipedia: There is a common joke involving fortune cookies that involves appending "in bed", "with a battle axe" or "between the sheets" to the end of the fortune, usually creating a sexual innuendo or other bizarre messages (e.g., "Every exit is an entrance to new experiences [in bed]" or "You will solve your greatest problem [with a battle axe]"

Take for example the following:


"You could prosper in the field of medical research.. in bed" -- not too bad, worth a chuckle. Things kinda go wrong when you get this as a fortune..

2.) They’re useful. In this tech-savvy world, it’s great to have a b/f who can make your laptop, desktop, and just about anything else that plugs into a wall behave itself.

3.) They’re more romantic than they’re given credit for. Ok true, their idea of romance might be to make up a spiffy web-page with all the reasons why they love you, with links to pics of you and sonnets and such... but hey. It lasts longer than flowers, plus you can show your friends.

4.) Due to their neglected status, there are plenty to choose from. You like ‘em tall and slender? There are plenty of geeks/nerds who are. You like ‘em smaller with more meat on their bones? Got that too.

5.) They’ve got brains. Come on now, how can intelligence be a bad thing?

6.) Most are quite good at remembering dates. Like birthdates and such, especially if they know it’ll make you happy. Due again to their neglected status, they’re more attentive than guys who “have more options”. Plus, with all that down time without a steady girlfriend, they’ll likely have mental lists of all the things they’d love to do once they GOT a girlfriend.

7.) Sex. Yep. Sex. I’m not really familiar with this myself, but I’ve friends who’ve been intimate with geek guys and it’s raves all around. They say a virgin wrote the Kama Sutra... all that time thinking about sex, imagining sex, dreaming about sex, (they are male after all) coupled with a desire to make you happy? Use your imagination.

8.) They’re relatively low-maintenance. Most can be fueled on pizza, Twinkies and Mt Dew. No complicated dinners needed here, so if you’re not the best cook, eh. Can you order a pizza?

9.) Most frequent bars as often as slugs frequent salt mines. You won’t have to worry much about your geek guy getting his “groove” on with club hotties because, frankly, he’ll be too busy rooting around under his computer wondering where that spare cable went. You won’t have to worry about him flirting with other women because, 9 out of 10 times, he’ll zip right by them in a perfect b-line towards the nearest electronics store. I’ve seen this happen.
Me: “Eww. Victoria Secret’s Models... They’re so skinny. How is that feminine? You can see her ribs!”
Geek Guy: “ooooooo...”
Me: “Hey!” *notices he is staring lustfully towards the computer store*
Geek Guy: “What?”
Me: “Never mind...”

10.) Although he may not want to go to every outing with you, you can arrange swaps, as in, you’ll go to his Gamer Con dressed as an elf princess if he’ll take you to the ballet. Plus, if he doesn’t want to go someplace with you, you won’t have to worry much about what he’s up to. You’ll probably come home to find him asleep on his keyboard in a sea of Mt. Dew cans with code blinking from the screen. It’s ok. He’s used to this. Just toss a blanket over him and turn out the light.

11.) His friends aren’t jerks. I can’t stress this enough. You’ll more likely get “Omg! A GIRL!! Can I see?!” than “Hey hot stuff back that ass up here and let me get some grub on...” They’re awkward geeks too and will, 9 times out of 10, treat you with the utmost respect and, more than likely, a note of awe. A cute girl picked one of their clan to date? It could happen to them! Hope! Drag some of your single girlfriends over, open up a pack of Mt. Dew, crack open the DnD set and get working. Nothing impresses geek guys more than a girl who can hack-n-slash (well ok maybe if she can code... a geek can dream).

12.) They’re rarely if ever possessive. They trust you, so you can be yourself around them. You like to walk around the house in a ratty t-shirt for comfort? He won’t care. He does too! They won’t get pissy if you don’t wear make-up or don’t want to bother primping your hair. If you gain a few pounds, they won’t try their best to make you feel like crap.

13.) They’re usually very well educated. Physics majors and the like. See #5. You won’t have to listen to him blathering on about his car (ok maybe a little), he’ll have loads of other interesting things to talk about. Politics, world events, how much the chicken burgers down at the local place rock, so long as you douse them in hot sauce...

14.) You’ll almost never have to hear, “Yaw dawg whazzap!!” plop out of their mouths. Unless it’s in jest. They spell properly, use correct punctuation, and are able to tell the difference between the toilet and the floor. They almost never get “wasted”, so you won’t have to worry about coming home to find him and his friends passed out on the floor amidst a pile of beer bottles. Mt. Dew cans, perhaps...

15.) And the final reason why geeks and nerds make great boyfriends: They actually give a damn about you. Not how you look (though that’s a plus), not how skinny you are, not how much make-up you primp yourself up with, but they like you for you. That kind of thing lasts longer than “DaMN baby you got a fine ass!!!” Believe me.

Leslie and Ryan recently introduced me to Borat. Apparently he's got a movie coming out soon: Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan. After watching a few of his skits, he's now one of my favorite characters, second only to Hard Gay.

The video below provides great dating tips, and we should all learn something from him.

Both are pretty funny. The third one is really really old, and I had forgotten about it, but its just as hilarious as ever!

Don't Download This Song


It's All About the Pentiums

Alright, who's who?
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Eldo (AIM) 10:51:27 PM
yo
put this on your blog
http://javimoya.com/blog/pics/200607/yamanba.htm

Justin (AIM) 10:51:48 PM
dang scary

Eldo (AIM) 10:52:17 PM
i was screaming OH SHHIT the whole time

Ten Saltine crackers. One minute. No beverages. Can you do it? Can Eldo do it? Can anyone do it? If you think you can.. let us get it on video! (^_^)

Stan sent in this hard gay video. Since I like ramen, and I like funny videos -- I thought I'd share this with y'all. I know many of you have seen this, but it's still very funny! Jon says he'll dress up like him for halloween!

Neil sent submitted this video. "this is kinda off topic but check out this video link ... we should do this for the next game of dodgeball..."

What do you guys think? Let's hunt down some kids, shall we? (^_^)

SAN ANTONIO, Texas (Reuters) - Texas has begun sending undercover agents into bars to arrest drinkers for being drunk, a spokeswoman for the Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission said on Wednesday.

The first sting operation was conducted recently in a Dallas suburb where agents infiltrated 36 bars and arrested 30 people for public intoxication, said the commission's Carolyn Beck.

Being in a bar does not exempt one from the state laws against public drunkenness, Beck said.

The goal, she said, was to detain drunks before they leave a bar and go do something dangerous like drive a car.

"We feel that the only way we're going to get at the drunk driving problem and the problem of people hurting each other while drunk is by crackdowns like this," she said.

"There are a lot of dangerous and stupid things people do when they're intoxicated, other than get behind the wheel of a car," Beck said. "People walk out into traffic and get run over, people jump off of balconies trying to reach a swimming pool and miss."

She said the sting operations would continue throughout the state.

$8.95. "Dong Bei Fake Dog Meat". I never thought I'd see something like that on a menu.. at least not in the Bay Area. While we didn't have the courage to order it (or any of the other weird sounding things "Pork Skin Jello"?) we ordered regular stuff and it was decent. I doubt I'd go there again unless we're stranded in Milpitas late at night -- and there isn't anywhere else to go.

I've had nothing to add to the site without a camera, so to pass the time, I made a comic out of the photos from Stan's Birthday. Enjoy.

Not safe for viewing anywhere, actually. Sorry if you threw up a little bit in your mouth. (> <);;


Eldo poses seductively on a super nice Honda Civic Hatchback.

As requested.. the sumo video we recorded while waiting for food last weekend.. sorry the volume is low, not bad for my first video in iMovie. (^_^)
The song you can't really hear is "Baby Got Back" by Sir Mix-A-Lot.